From The Journal of a valley girl rising above Mountains

 

August 13, 2010

  I know I am in the valley now. It is here that I'll learn, grow, experience, discover, dream. 

Just wait until I see that mountaintop! Sure, the valley is dark & scary. It rains here quite a bit. 

But when I look up past the trees, past the winds--I see the Sun, and the light shining upon my face.

And even when it rains here, that Sun never dies down. The winds blow like crazy. And I trip under my dress. I am tempted to stay fallen on the ground, or just let myself die away. 

Still, there is no way that can happen when I feel a strong Hand lift me out of the mud, shake me off, kiss my forehead, and carry me off in His arms. Days go by & I am still in the valley. But rest assured that I am not alone. My Jesus is walking right beside me--picking me up each time I fall. Helping me become stronger. Talking with me, teaching me, correcting me. More importantly, loving & comforting me.

Through the winds, He's my shield. He knows everything about us. Our little minds don't even get that. Through the deep, dark valleys--His light is perfect warmth.

The Room / A Rhythmis Heart

 The Room

'Tis tiring to see,

The fullness of this room.

The big, the small, the dusty

Should make a gal be gloom.

'Woont picking up each treasure,

Count at all for time?
And what about the measure,

Of clothes and books that smile?

Simply reach your hand,

Take this load of mine.

Help me clean this room,

Oh, 'woont you be so kind?

A Rhythmis Heart

A young girl rises from her deep sleep, with wonders of the day;

When all of a sudden, colors blow in, and she is stricken gay (happy).

A color here, a color there, the best is yet to come,

For surely there will be a day when two will equal one.

What's hidden here is something great; a room with gentle ease;

But what you don't know is that it will glow, and happily blow like the breeze.

Searching for room to play a great rhyme; finding herself through a wrong,

Reminding the girl that the way she proclaims is a sweet but yet simple song.


~Simple poems from a heart that beats like a thousand roses in bloom~

Great & Just

Seemingly happy there I lay-

Slowly going about my day.

Filling my heart with the sweetest tale,

Surely You come with a fervent bail.

"I'm using this mess up for a far better thrill

Won't you come see? It's apart of My will!"

"Oh, alright. I will if I must.

Wait! Look! It's great and it's just!

 The rain falls down

And it falls hard.

It beat the sound

Of my once happy heart.

And as I stood there

With this crippling fear,

The rain mixed in

With my falling tears.

Drip! Drip! 

And

Plop! Plop!

Won't this rain ever stop?

But oh, He saved me

From this great flood!

I knew that

I never could.

Oh, He took me from this place.

He wiped the tears from my face.

And then it passed

I knew it wouldn't last.

Despite my fear,

A rainbow appeared.

Drip, drip, drip. There goes another rain storm. Faster, and louder. It pounds. My once happy heart is drowned out by the beat of the storm. This life is the rain. And sometimes I can handle it--the rain. But it pounds so hard that it tries to ruin me.

When the flood came & tried to succeed, HE saved me! He saw me drowning & took me from this place. He wiped my teary eyed face. And while the storm passes, the rainbow finally appeared!

Closer.

Heart? You are weary.

Heart? You are bruised.

Heart? You are fearing.

 Can you be new?

Heart, you need Something, but can it be found?

How many times will you be in this cloud?

Aching for healing to fill up that hole.

But Who can come and save this tired weak soul?

"Heart? Don't be weary; it saddens Me too.

Do not allow yourself to be bruised.

Heart, don't be fearing, for I've come to save;

I've come to rescue your weakness, your ache.

Many the calls I hear in that heart.

My love and My healing are not that far.

Search Me and know Me and then you will see

That, heart, I will fill you with love and with peace.

So no more weariness, no bruising or fear

Can ever separate you from My constant ear.

My ear that will listen to your cry and your plea;

The cry that will bring you closer to Me."

His longing...

"Lord God, set my feet on a rock and give me a firm place to stand on. Help me to show earnestness by trusting in the full assurance of hope until the end, so that I may not be spiritually sluggish, but an imitator of those who through faith and by practice of patient endurance and waiting inherit the promises. For I need endurance, so that I may do Your will.and receive what is promised. Deliver me from drawing back and shrinking in fear, for then You will have no delight or pleasure in me. But may I be among the just and righteous servants who live by faith in You."
~Prayer by Sheila Cragg in her Devotional, A Woman's Walk With God




This is where I seem to be stuck. Spiritually sluggish, drawing back, shrinking in fear. I don't like those terms to be found in me. But in all reality, they are. 
Fear grips me - I tend to draw back. Not away from God, but I guess you could say away from the problem. Away from the feeling of doing something wrong. I draw back on what I could be -- what God wants me to be.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." (Deut. 6:5)

How much strength do I have now? What is it to "love God"? Being the imperfect beings we are, how are we to love such a PERFECT Lord?

Sheila says, "Our Lord knows that we'll never feel fully at rest during our earthly journey. He knows that most of what we do daily to maintain our lives and much of what we do for pleasure leaved us tired. He knows that to escape our pain and those empty, lonely moments, we overload them with meaningless activities and anxious thoughts that fatigue us....Christ calls us to come to Him...so He can refresh us when we're weary of the daily work we must do."

These next words are so touching..."Our loving Shepherd desires to lead us to green meadows beside still waters so He can cleanse our diseased thoughts, heal our damaged lives, and restore our souls. He longs to guide us through the valley of pain, to free us from the fear of evil, to comfort us with His rod and staff. He yearns to lead us along the path of righteousness for His name's sake.The Lord Himself is inviting us to follow Him to a place of peaceful quietness for personal restoration, to find a place of solitude for spiritual restoration, Come, sit at the place He's set for you. He longs to serve you, so let His healing Word quench your thirst; let His tender mercy refresh your starved soul; let His gracious love awaken your spiritual passion."

It's truly at these times I feel closest to my Savior. It's almost like He allowed it so I would get close to Him. All day I had a thirst in my throat for water, but oh how much more thirst I had in my heart. I want my life to be renewed--fulfilled--pleasing to Him. I am not saying it is not right now, but there's steps I need to take, "stones I need to jump across".


It's such a wonder to think God of the universe longs to do things--wonderful things for us. How funny as to why we just won't let Him.

In Love.

 

This day is perfect - not hot, but just the right amount of sun is hitting Sara's face. In beautiful rhythm, her feet swiftly run through the soft weeds down in the field. She lifts her head and breaths in a great amount of scent--wildflowers. Trees are rustling from where she is headed. The small creek right next to her continues to flow and calm her already beating heart.
 
 Still running, she plays out just what she'll say when she gets there. She remembers when He made her laugh--she remembers when He calmed her heart--she remembers when He forgave all. And now she just couldn't wait for this day. One day she called Him and He said, "Here I Am." And now He called her, and there she goes running. As fast as she could.

  She heard Him again--was He singing? Sarah couldn't stop smiling but she knew - she knew He loved it when she did that. She knew He loved it when she laughed. And when she cried, she knew He caught each tear. Now the tears were coming. Racing down her cheeks. Her heart was overwhelmed with a love that was so indescribable - so real.
 
  Finally she stops running. Where is He? There she walks past each tall tree. And seated on a small rock, there He was. His back was to her, and as she sniffed, He turned around and gazed at her with the most beautiful face. He stood, and opened His arms. "Come! I have been waiting for you My child."

  Sarah ran for Him, and planted herself in His warm embrace. And said, '" I love You my Jesus. I have fallen in love with You!"

From the Journal of a Moon Watcher.

  July 26, 2010 

Tonight, the moon was the brightest I've seen it. I stood there glaring into a big ball of radiant light that became the size of my pupil. It looked as if a pure black blanket was lain around the light which then showed to be like a flashlight as if to reveal a secret. A magical dream place where the light spotted only the secret places of a person's heart. My heart.
  But that Light became a light in which it not only revealed each tiny secret imprinted on my heart; that Light changed my heart. That Light becomes brilliantly bright in a person's life. Where everything was once dark and gloomy - sad and scary --there the Light of Love came a made it's home--in the secret place of my heart.

From the Journal of a Weary Heart.

 July 26, 2010 

  Tonight the Lord took me someplace. He smiled at me and kissed my cheek. He brushed back my hair that was subtly left upon my face and He said,

"Daughter, I see YOU and know YOU and understand YOU. For I have created YOU. I'm here my beloved - I'm here."

He's teaching me how to trust Him. To put my faith in only Him. Where troubles seem to knock at the door of my heart and mind -- who will I let enter? Jesus? Or every thing possessed by the world? Which is more powerful? Surely not the world! For it was God who MADE it! Confusion - depression - weariness - doubt - fear ----- all not from my Father.
  I assume Noah felt each one of these things. And yet, God continued to prove Himself faithful and mighty. God used Noah. And he could have easily said "No God." But he didn't say that. He said "Here I am." And God used and blessed him.
  I know my loving Father cares about my confusion, my depression, my weariness, fear & doubt. My Father understands ME, remember?!
  All of a sudden, it seems I've wanted to read the Word. I WANT to learn and grow. I want to know it, live it, and tell it to the world! Why keep it in?
  It's scary, yes -- "How do I go about this?" I ask over and over. Well--I'm learning to take things one step at a time.

Waters Like Me

source

Quiet waters stay and be.

 To themselves just like me.

Softly passing through the air;

Trickling down the back of my hair.

A New Yesterday

 

Yesterday I trembled;

I shuttered with great fear.

Yesterday I walked 

With lies inside my ear.

Yesterday I fussed,

I argued and I yelled.

Yesterday I knew 

How many times I fell.

Yesterday I cried

I whined and I blamed.

Yesterday I said

"When will I ever change?"

Yesterday my heart was wrong

The place I'd been was night

Yesterday I told myself

"It's time you get it right."

But today's a new yesterday

Yes, today I can breath.

Finally today 

Is the day that I can see.

Once He spoke the word,

I knew my heart was right.

Today I'll change the world

With every bit of His light.

All the 'yesterday's represent everyday of my life until today. This day - today, I am new.

picture created at polyvore.com 

credit for idea goes to Julia 

for my Love...

Just like a kiss from above

Is Your face shining in love

Hearing Your voice say, "I'm here"

Perfectly tells me Your near.

Windy's the day from afar

Beauty's the theme of Your heart

Love, I am drawing You close

These moments that I love the most.

Whispers are often Your quest

Slowly they come make a nest

Deep in my heart have they formed

And small quiet words, they are born.

Hungry and thirsty I seem

Will You please come and fill up my stream?

Fill it with wonders of You

And come fill this weary heart too.

True love.

  I sat there--"When are they going to call my name?" My appointment with Dr. Chavez should be taking place this very moment, and yet, here I sit with my purse latched on my lap.

  The magazines have no interest in me and my desire to start up a conversation with the woman next to me died when her daughter entered the room and they raced for the door. There I sit. Waiting. Practically dying from boredom. By myself.

  And then an older, rather ugly man, walks in. Tall, worn and bent was he. Was he dashing? No. And to his side was a fat woman, who was grey. No princess there!

  And yet, they caught my notice. Yes, this quite ancient pair had my full attention. Unaware were they.

  As they walk by the door, I notice that he held her coat for her. He smiled at her then he went to fetch the car. When he brought it around, for her he opened the door and made sure her body was not strained. Then they drove away.

  There I sat. The name I'd been waiting to hear (mine) was not called. But as I sat in thought that morning, and though they did not know, they left me with a picture. This was a picture of how true love should really be.

  So no, I saw no handsome prince. No beautiful princess in my view. But I got to see something --and that something was true love.

*Inspired by this poem by Mary Beth Hackett.*

The Lost Little Sheep

  The sun had just gone to bed. The Shepherd gathered his 100 sheep and called to them, "Goodnight my little sheep!" Off they went far in the meadow, when the Shepheard began to count.
  "One, two, three," He patiently counted with glee in His heart. "Ninety eight, ninety nine....." He found that there were only 99 sheep. "Where are you little sheep?" The Shepherd looked all around him in hopes of spotting the lost sheep. He looked to his left, and he looked to his right. Not one missing sheep did he find. He quietly wandered from the meadow. "Where are you little sheep?" he called once again. When all of a sudden, the Shepherd heard a noise.
  "I'm here in the bushes! Help!" the Shepherd responded and ran for the bush. The little sheep was struggling to get out. The more she fought and struggled, the more deep she would be.
  "Here I am." the Shepherd said. "Do not be afraid. I am right here, okay?" he looked at her face and he wiped away her tears. He got her out and layed his hands on her.
  "I knew you would find me," she said. "I knew you would be here. But I strayed and went my own way. I began to doubt you. I didn't think you could take care of me. So I left. But then I heard your voice. I heard you calling my name." With a patient ear, the Shepherd looked at her in the sweetest most gentle way.
  "Why did you look for me? Why did you come when you knew I went my own route?" Then, the Shepherd looked at her for some time before answering; "My child, let me tell you why I came near. I came so I can dry every single one of your tears. I came so I can fill the hole in your heart. To give you peace. You fret; you are afraid of this place. Why? Don't you know about grace? I came so you could have me everyday. And when you have sorrows, I will be there. My little sheep, I found you when you were lost. Lost in the bushes. And I came to find you because I love you."


  So there I was. Watching a T.V show quietly in the room. When my Grandma (grama) comes in. These are along the lines of what she said to me.

"Amber, I know you worry about all the lost people out there. But I realized - we are not the saviors. Picture 100 little sheep. Jesus, the Shepherd is counting them. And He only counts 99. He goes off to find that lost little sheep. "Where are you?" He calls out. That sheep got into the world. She got stuck in the fence and can't escape. And then Jesus comes alongside her and rescues her." She twisted her head and said, "Look. It's like that picture of Jesus and the sheep." I looked at the picture that hang on the wall ever since I can remember. "Jesus will rescue His lost little sheep. You just gotta keep praying for them to be found. In His own way He will call them by name, and they will hear Him."
  Then, in her sweet voice, she sang, (in spanish) "There were one hundres sheep. The Shepherd came to count them. Once He counted them all, one was missing..."
  That made me smile at how He goes and looks for His lost sheep and calls them by name oh so tenderly. I told her I would write a poem about it. Here it is:

Far in the meadow were 100 sheep

Deep was their slumber; sweet was their sleep.

Not one disturbence, not even one sound

When one by one the Shepherd would count.

"1, 2, 3" He'd begin

When all seemed to be there, He thought He would end.

"98, 99--one isn't here. Oh little sheep! Where are you my dear?"

He looked to the left, He looked to the right.

With a soft voice, "Where are you tonight?"

Out of the meadow, He called her by name

"Where are you?" He said with a voice that was tame.

Silently walking, He heard a faint yelp;

"Im here in the bushes--oh please, come and help!"

Caught in the bushes was the lost little sheep

Helplessly pushing herself way in deep.

"Here I am; Please do not fear;

For I am your Shepherd, I will be right here."

She lifted her face and He wiped all her tears

"I knew You would find me; I knew You'd be near."

"I strayed from the rest, I went my own route;

And when I got lost I began to doubt.

But then I heard You, Your voice I knew well,

And when I saw Your face, my world hope around.

You came and You saw me, You knew where I lay;

But why did You save me when I went my own way?"

"My child, let me tell you of why I came near;

I came so I could gather all of your tears.

I came to fill that hole in your heart;

To bring you My peace and give you a new start.

You worry and fret for the things of this place

But why little sheep? Don't you know about grace?

I came so you'll have Me in all your tomorrows

And when you cry out, I'll wipe all your sorrows.

I found you in bushes, there you were deep;

Come my child, my found little sheep."

purity.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord.

~Psalm 19:14~

Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.

~Philippians 4:8~

Until I say 'I Do'

  Lilah glanced at her hand. Her ring read, "I will wait." Lilah treasured her purity. What was it that made her keep her gift most precious gift unwrapped? Was it this symbolic piece of jewelry? No, it was more. It was her first Love; her most Beloved King that captured her heart and held it in the palms of his hands. It was a beautiful love she had for Him that let her decide who she'd give herself away to. It was the day of Lilah's wedding. Today she knew with all that was in her that Wilson was the one for her. God had given him to her, and her to him. Today they would forever be united as one.
  "Until I say 'I Do'," she said smiling to herself. "Until this ring is replaced with the one I will wear for the rest of my life. Until I am one with Wilson."
  Lilah's father stepped in the room teary eyed. "Oh, Li. You are so beautiful." Then in a more serious tone he said, "I never told you this, and I want you to know. Before you were born, at your mothers and my wedding, we didn't wait." Lilah's expression told her dad she was confused.
  "We didn't wait like you and Wil did. We let our wants and desires get the better of us. The reason I'm telling you this is because I am so amazed and proud of you and your choices. Your beautiful gift is untouched and that will benefit you in your marriage. I don't think you know how beautiful that is in a woman." Lilah began to tear up. Her waiting was something she thought was just between God, her and Wilson. Her father had always had a part in her decisions. She knew this one was between her and God.
  As the beloved father and daughter finally walked down the aisle, Lilah lifted her head above her veil to find Wilson's tears streaming down his cheeks. Her heart skipped a beat. This was the man she was going to marry! When she made it to the alter, he looked at her with the most precious gaze and held her hands oh so gently.
After vows were said, he slipped of her purity ring slowly, kissed it, and handed it to the ring bearer. With the new ring in his hand he looked at her beautiful face and said  "With this ring I thee wed."

Plans & Rambles

I need a plan. Ever since I can remember, I've been a "writer". But the funny thing is, when I started to really write big stories, I've never finished them. Thus, my need for a plan.

I am currently working on a "novel", but I have no idea where it is going. I guess I need to start thinking...

I have several ideas about what I'm including, but no real storyline, ya know? I'm not entirely sure how this is going to end up - I don't want it to be boring, or dull. So I am on the brink of thoughts and research. I love writing so this shouldn't be so hard, but even the best of writers are sure to get stuck from time to time. Does that make me a good writer? Maybe not. But I want to finish this thing and say, hey I did it. I actually finished a story I started.

I may end up going back to all those other unfinished 'books' and so some recreating!

I am your Shield - By Rachel Wissmann

My child are you discouraged,

by the sorrows of the day?

Does it seem that life is troubling;

the skies have turned to gray?

Don't forget I gave you promises,

to guide you every hour.

In the moment of your heartbreak,

let me show you my great power!

And I will be your shield, When the battle rages on.

And I will be your light, when the way ahead is long.

Just place your life completely in my hands.

I know it won't be easy,

I never said it would.

But my grace will always be there;

My plans for you are good.

Remember that my weaknesses,

are perfect in my sight,

only when you give them to me,

can I turn them into might.

And I will be your shield, When the battle rages on.

And I will be your light, when the way ahead is long.

Just place your life completely in my hands.

And someday you'll understand,

why I sent this trial

and someday you will see the end,

and know it's all worthwhile!

And I will be your shield, When the battle rages on.

And I will be your light, when the way ahead is long.

Just place your life completely in my hands.

Morning chillness

 "My voice You shall hear in the morning,

  O Lord;

In the morning I will direct it to You,

And I will look up."

~Psalm 5:3~

Chilled and cold was the morning of now
Silence began, but quite didn't know how.

Loud chirps and small were the creatures of here
Whistles and bells weren't too far from my ear.

The moon and the stars gave off their dim light
And whispers of His peace came flying through the night.

But this night was not night, it was morning at 4
When the sun came and shone, tucked inside mountains floor.

One whisper, one song; my heart was renewed
My voice You shall hear, I will lift it to You.

From the Journal of a Fearful Heart

 I was reading some previous journal entries in, well, my journal today. Everything I've written lines up with the same topic: fear. This is a prayer I wrote and I wanted to share it with you, my friends.

Father, You know me. Heck, You created this 'thing'. But even though everyday I see this 'thing' of imperfect-ness, You don't view me as a 'thing'. No, I am Your princess! And because You know and understand me, You know how much I struggle. Despite my laziness, my excuses, my fear, doubt, and whatever else is getting in the way of EVERYTHING You're calling me to, You know its hard for me. Please help me Lord. Change my heart and turn me around. You do know my (confused) heart. And my motives. Help me to see this life as my only true chance of doing Your work. Help the fear I struggle with. I need You're supernatural power in my life. Even though I tell everyone, "You don't understand!", its great to know that You do. How? I don't know. 


You know me God. There are things I don't really like about myself. Help me to know the difference between knowing when I need to change myself, and when I need to accept myself. I want to love me. Plain, old, simple me. My potter, You have formed and fashioned me. I am still the clay, and You're not done molding me are You? You're still forming me. Although I yell, "Ouch!" once in a while, (okay, all the time) I want to have full confidence in knowing You need to do that in order to make me into a young lady You meant me to be."

Look Up in the Morning.

  "Wake up."  Lilah was fast asleep, until she heard a small voice like still waters. She checked her clock. 4:12am. Determined to go back to sleep, she rested her head and shut her heavy eyelids.
  "Wake up," she heard it again. What was compelling her to wake up? She didn't know what to do.
  "Lord? Is that You?" she asked in confusion.
  "Wake up," He answered. He continued, "Wake up and go outside." Lilah willingly got up, put on her shoes and sweater, and at 4:15 in the morning, stepped into the quiet chillness of the early morning.
  "Lord! Look at this! I've never seen anything like this!" Lilah was staring at a big moon. She could perfectly see the outline of its half. Stars were brightly lit all around, and she felt a small sweet breeze sweep upon her face. She closed her eyes. From behind her house, the small creek flowed. She heard crickets and frogs saying their good mornings. Her heart was so overwhelmed with a love; a peace that she's never felt.
  "Oh Lord! she whispered." 'My voice you shall hear in the morning, In the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up.' " Lilah stared at the glowing moon for a long time. She remembered a verse from Psalms she learned in church. "When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained." Lilah slowly lifted her head, and placed her hand on her heart, and said,
  "Oh, how You've captured my heart. You have awoken me to feel You. To actually see You. And to know you more. I love this."


I like to think that when I am suddenly awoken in the very early morning, I'm being so sweetly awoken by God. It seems bittersweet, because you are so tired. 4:00 in the morning! But at the same time, you are given a chance to spend a precious moment with God - to hear His voice - to witness a beautiful feeling even though its more than a feeling. It can't really be explained. It has to be experienced - it has to be seen with your own eyes and felt with your own heart and soul. And when you do--that my friends is the most perfect thing in the whole world.

Whispers in The Night

  Cricket, cricket, cried the nighttime bugs. Swish, swish, cried the wind.
All joining in to play a perfect melody as the moon gave off its light and the stars twinkled like perfect diamonds on black silk.

  "How far do you think the stars are from us?" 6 year old Johnny asked his older brother Wilson.
"I don't know. Pretty far, I guess." he replied.
"Do you think some day I'll get to go up there?" Then he paused, with a twinkle in his eyes and said, "And touch one?" Johnny's older brother chuckled to himself and rested his hand on Johnny's shoulder. Not wanting to sound discouraging, Wilson said,
"I think if you really wanted to, you could."
"Do you think that I will ever get to fly?" Then as if Wilson's heart melted before him, tears welded up in his eyes. Johnny's cancer hadn't gotten better, and Wilson knew it.
"Johnny, I think if you really wanted to, you could fly straight up to the moon."
"You really think so?" With heavy breath, Wilson replied,
"Yes, Johnny. I do."

  Two weeks later, Johnny died. Memories of him flooded Wilson one late night. He was gazing at the stars. Then as if compelled to, Wilson silently prayed,
"God? Uh, hi. You know Johnny, right? My little brother? Well, not too long ago he told me a few things. I know he's up there with You now. I know he feels better. I wanted to ask You, if You could do something for me. You see, Johnny told me he wanted to fly. He wanted to touch the stars and fly to the moon. If it is possible, do you think you can take him? I know it sure would make him happy. Thanks, God."

  Wilson sat there staring up at the moon, in the same spot him and Johnny sat. Silently he whispered,
"Sure bet you're up on the moon right now Johnny. Right now, with God at your side."

Separation: The world--Part 1

"Separation?" he asked, squirming in his chair.
 "From what?"
 "All that is of filthiness and wickedness. From the world and its pleasures."
"But Lord, how can I live in the world and not 'be friends with it'. I don't want to be friends with it, I just am."
"I know child, I know. But don't you know that to be friends with the world is to hate Me?" He said lovingly.
"No. I didn't know that. I do love You. But I......"
"There are no 'buts' when it comes to Me and my Word. I never said it was okay to compromise. When I said total separation, I meant total separation. Submit yourself to Me. Resist the devil, and he will flee."
"I feel so angry all the time. It's hard to get a long with others. When I'm asked to do something I don't like, I complain. How am I supposed to submit myself to You when I can't do anything right? When I am so imperfect? When all I do is mess up?" he asked in an impatient voice.
"Anger my Child, does not bring righteousness I desire. And love is not rude. And yes, do things with grumbling is not what I desire either. All these things are found in the Word. Did you know that if you pursue righteousness and love, you will find life? You will find prosperity and honor? That if you seek Me, in the hope that you will find Me, you will. Because child, I am not far from you. And in Me, you live and move and have your being.. "


{Verses used in this story:
James 1:21, James 4:4, James 4:7, James 4:20, 1 Corinthians 13:5, Philippians 2:14, Proverbs 21:21, and Acts 17:27-28.}

Separation.
 That's a scary word if you ask me. You mean, if I want to follow God as close as possible I have to purposefully give up "myself"? There are many things I do that are totally contrary to the things and ways of God.

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Your ways are not My ways, and you thoughts are not My thoughts.
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Like for example. T.V. The shows/movies we watch. Is there a speck of filth, sin, wickedness, or evil in any type of show you watch? I am taking a big step by saying this, but I can find all that in a show like Hannah Montana or Wizards of Waverly Place. Evaluate the episodes. I used to LOVE those shows. But can you love filth, sin, wickedness, evil etc and love God?
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"Get rid of all moral filth and evil." ~James 4:12~
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"Where is there evil and filth in Hannah Montana?" you may ask.
It's supposed to be a Disney Channel show for kids and teens. I see immodesty. The Bible talks about immodesty. I see lying and disrespect towards parents and each other.The Bible talks about these very subjects.
Before I go on, I want you to understand that I struggle on a day to day basis to follow the Bible as opposed to following the world. I ain't perfect! And I know these people are not as well. But I have to say, you know, these shows are teaching many people (especially kids) ways of living totally contrary to the Bible! This is where the total separation comes in. You may be saying, "What I want to do I don't do, and what I hate---I do." (~Romans 7:15~)
That's totally me! The things I don't want to do, I end up doing anyway. And I've noticed that I--me--moi...put myself in a situation where I have to choose the right thing.

I asked my self awhile back, "If I am not being benefited from this T.V show why watch it? And if it is going against what the Bible says, why put this stuff before my eyes?"
After saying those very words, I ended up putting it before my eyes anyway. See? It's hard. It is and there is no doubt about it. This messed up world made us all think that this stuff is harmless. "Oh, its okay to watch this. Whats a little harmless fun going to do?"

Well, that "harmless fun" does a lot of harm. I don't want to be apart of something the world thinks is okay, when I know for fact that it's not okay with God. A. W  Tozer said,

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To be right with God has often meant to be in trouble with the world. ~Unknown
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When the Holy Spirit fills us, we see that this world's seductive attractions are only cheap substitutes for what god has to offer. ~Unknown
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Life is hard, I know. And having to actually live in this gross world, we are also called to be different in it. And that is hard. 
Separation.

Summer list

Before I "tally up" the total on the side bar>>>>I'll be randomly posting on here :D

I wanted to make a short list of this summer's "to do's". This was inspired by this rokkin' blogger :D

~Read as many books as possible
~Swim 3 times a week
~Re draw my old drawings (the amateur ones!)
~Send friends & family packages of "goodies" in the mail
~Go somewhere out of state
~Do another photo shoot (my 1st one was swell!)
~Clean out my room
~Prepare for the 11th grade, yay!
~Spend more time with the cousins
~Take my vitamins (blah)
~Go on adventures
~Ride my bike more
~Learn calligraphy
~Buy more crafting supplies and craft! (BTW, if you read The Creative Daisy, I will be crafting more this summer (now that I have a load off of school)


Lists are my fav. although I never seem to use them that much!

Inspiration Biography::Gladys Aylward

Missionary to China

Gladys Aylward. Her drive. Her absolute abandonment to everything. Her willingness to serve.
She gave her life to Christ willing to be used.

1Gladys was born in London, the 24th of February, 1902. Met Christ at 25. It is said that she didn't excel scholastically. She had no money, but she knew that God prepares those who are willing to respond to His call. She was raised in the Anglican church, although wasn't religious in her early years. At age 14, she became a parlor maid. At 18, the call to missions. What blossomed was her desire to work out in the mission field. Gladys worked, determined to follow God. She saved up, and at age 30, her opportunity came. An aging missionary, Mrs. Jeannie Lawson was looking for some young assistant to carry on her work. Gladys was accepted. However, Mrs. Lawson wasn't able to accompany her on her China trip.

Gladys spent hours learning a language so very foreign to her, and became a fluent speaker. Later, she lead children, on foot, over the mountains, and eventually ended up in a coma after they arrived safely. Over the next 29 years, preached the Gospel to many Chinese men and woman

At the end of her life, she wrote, "My heart is full of praise that one so insignificant, uneducated and ordinary in every way could be used to His glory for the blessings of His people in poor persecuted China." She died January 3rd, 1970.

Her story is one of many that displays true love for her King. An ordinary person, such as myself, used by Him in a life changing way. It is her story that motivates me to give it all up: my desire for further education; marriage; motherhood; travel.

Leslie Ludy said, "To find a young woman who is wholly devoted to Christ and separate in spirit from the world is rare indeed." 2

What is the secret of great living, 3Amy Carmichael asks, Entire separation to Christ and devotion to Him.

...those who catch the vision are ready to follow the Lamb

wherever He leads, and as they follow, in this spirit of joyful

 adventure, their path becomes clear before them and they

are given power to fulfil their high calling. They are those

who have the courage to break through conventionalities,

 who care not at all what the world thinks of them,

 because they are entirely taken up with tremendous

reality of Christ.

-Bishop Bardley-

[bold changes mine]

Sources

1. First paragraph--information from John M. Fritzius's written biography.

2. From Leslie Ludy's book, Set-Apart Feminity.

3. This quote was found in Leslie Ludy's book, Set-Apart Femininity.